For a better start in life


First time I saw Emily and Joshua’s alphabet blocks I was a bit sceptical. They’re so surreal, and the photos looked like they might’ve been photoshopped. But real they are. And to prove that they’re no fluke, I just found my own version while out shopping here in Birmingham. I was browsing in a cheap-shop (one of those where everything costs £1) when I saw this item among the children’s toys:


I’m sure that 90% of the toys for sale in Britain are made in China, but the quality is generally better than this piece of junk. I had to buy it though, for the Chinglish. Look closer:

Chinglish in Brum

That’s some dictionary they must be using. The words “refection” and “carbonado” had completely passed me by, until today. And that’s bad luck, picking the most obscure spelling of “cookie” (as a translation of “bread”). Not such bad luck though, to pick “malt” when the word you need is in the picture. I wish I could say that from now on I’m going to call Big Macs “Greatness Folds”, but it’s too much of a mouthful.

Notice that the blocks are numbered 13-24, so I’m sure there must be a 1-12 set out there somewhere… Happy hunting!


2 thoughts on “For a better start in life

  1. Good stuff! “Greatness fold” is the best. Will you be using “malt” to mean fizzy drinks or beer?

    I think the “cookey” may be an artist’s conception of pound cake or biscotti. Or something else.

    “Carbonado” was new to me, but I recommend you read Browning’s “Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloisters”.

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