Builders, take note
This caught my eye when I was walking down John Bright Street (in Birmingham city centre) one day a couple of years ago. The space was being used as a canteen by a building firm while they were involved in a big construction project in the street.

Photo parade - in the wild
Birmingham city centre:
BP garage, West Bromwich:
A marque I hadn’t heard of before:
Lichfield shop:

For a better start in life

First time I saw Emily and Joshua’s alphabet blocks I was a bit sceptical. They’re so surreal, and the photos looked like they might’ve been photoshopped. But real they are. And to prove that they’re no fluke, I just found my own version while out shopping here in Birmingham. I was browsing in a cheap-shop (one of those where everything costs £1) when I saw this item among the children’s toys:

I’m sure that 90% of the toys for sale in Britain are made in China, but the quality is generally better than this piece of junk. I had to buy it though, for the Chinglish. Look closer:

That’s some dictionary they must be using. The words “refection” and “carbonado” had completely passed me by, until today. And that’s bad luck, picking the most obscure spelling of “cookie” (as a translation of “bread”). Not such bad luck though, to pick “malt” when the word you need is in the picture. I wish I could say that from now on I’m going to call Big Macs “Greatness Folds”, but it’s too much of a mouthful.
Notice that the blocks are numbered 13-24, so I’m sure there must be a 1-12 set out there somewhere… Happy hunting!
From the archive
Birmingham News, 24 June 2004:

(Brummies don’t talk foreign.)
Katie’s grammar
There’s loads of magazines for little girls, and when I’m in the Co-op with Catherine it’s hard to persuade her that she only needs one! Her latest choice was “Katie”, produced by the somewhat mysterious LCD Publishing. Mysterious also is their grammar:
There are five girls (and no boys) pictured in the full spread, so what’s with the “they”, “their” and “them”?
About
I’ve subscribed to the newsgroup alt.usage.english for several years. Spammers notwithstanding, it’s one of the best places on the Net to discuss our language.
All photos are copyright.
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