For a better start in life

First time I saw Emily and Joshua’s alphabet blocks I was a bit sceptical. They’re so surreal, and the photos looked like they might’ve been photoshopped. But real they are. And to prove that they’re no fluke, I just found my own version while out shopping here in Birmingham. I was browsing in a cheap-shop (one of those where everything costs £1) when I saw this item among the children’s toys:

I’m sure that 90% of the toys for sale in Britain are made in China, but the quality is generally better than this piece of junk. I had to buy it though, for the Chinglish. Look closer:

That’s some dictionary they must be using. The words “refection” and “carbonado” had completely passed me by, until today. And that’s bad luck, picking the most obscure spelling of “cookie” (as a translation of “bread”). Not such bad luck though, to pick “malt” when the word you need is in the picture. I wish I could say that from now on I’m going to call Big Macs “Greatness Folds”, but it’s too much of a mouthful.

Notice that the blocks are numbered 13-24, so I’m sure there must be a 1-12 set out there somewhere… Happy hunting!

From the archive

Birmingham News, 24 June 2004: 

(Brummies don’t talk foreign.)